Negative effects of look insecurity which affects our life

The way we are today is the sum total of every moment of the past. Every moment shapes us into becoming the person we will be in the future. So, we need to be aware of our feelings and thoughts.

It is really important to understand and reflect on our insecurities. We should try to understand what is it really about. It is only about our appearance or our desire to look good or we are just bothered about others' opinions. We are not here to impress others. we are here to live life. Why we are not able to experience it happily? Why are we so lost in this ideal feature of appearance?  Why are we conscious of our looks every time. We focus only on looking good and being liked by others. We want compliments. Sometimes we just don't want people to remind us that we don't have their ideal appearance. We try to avoid them by avoiding meeting people, doing stage performances,  standing front in of a group, making new friends, etc. We avoid everything necessary for our development. We can see the difference between people participating and those not participating. We are so lost in this fear of being mocked for our looks that we don't see how much it costs us. We are wasting valuable time avoiding things we should be doing for our development. Sometimes we waste our time by trying to be like others so that we might not get mocked by anyone.

 We see ourselves in the mirror wishing to change our appearance, which God created. Sometimes asking why he made us look like that. Looking at other people and wishing why they have a so-called perfect appearance.

We should not do that with ourselves. Why should we curse our appearance just because it does not confirm other's ideal features? Why should we waste our time and energy thinking about things which we can't control or change?

Teacher's Day special

 A teacher is a person who educates us. They not only teach us a subject but also help us to inculcate high values in us. They are responsible for shaping the minds of children. 

In our childhood, we all have a teacher in our school who is respected by all the children of the school. In our school, it was S.N Rai sir. He teaches physical education in school, a teacher No No a Guru in the true sense. He is an honest person with high principles.  He never treats a student badly. He always tries to bring out the best in students. Apart from teaching his subject, he also counsels his student about life. He is a great orator and philosopher. He is also a social worker working hard to make our society a better place to live through his NGO SATYALOK.   

There is an incident that I like to share. I was not so active in games and sports.  In our school on 15th August students of different houses had to do the parade. I was forced to take part in a parade. I didn't want to go. But since I had to I went for parade practice. I was horrible at the parade. Our house captain asked sir to remove those who are not doing well. Sir told us that those who think he is insufficient may quit. Although  I was not interested in participating I didn't quit because I didn't want to accept that I am not good in front of many students. Sir again repeated his words. I didn't quit. It was obvious I was not doing good. He looked at me but still, I didn't quit. I was nervous and thought I would be embarrassed in front of everyone. I didn't want to quit. But sir didn't send me back to class and he said to the house captain it's ok we will manage. That day, he could have sent me back to class but he didn't because he saw how nervous I was. He could have scolded me badly as any teacher does. The next day, I didn't go to the parade because I didn't want to trouble our house captain. But that incident really had a great impact on me.

I wish every teacher were like him. We really need more teachers and people like him. 

insecure about my look

 My first insecurity was about my looks; most of us have this insecurity in us. We are not born with insecurity. We develop it over time. One thing is clear, we don't bother about our looks until someone tells us that something is wrong with our appearance from their perspective or we are reminded by others that we do not have the IDEAL FEATURE of good looks or beauty. My first encounter with this was when I was a child. I don't remember what my age was. I was playing with other children. When a boy got out, I shouted "you are out". In no time he replied, "shut up nakbaithi(flat nose person)".I didn't like that word. I hated it. I never wanted to hear that word. At that time, I felt that there was a defect in me. My negative takeaway from that moment was that I chose never to argue or confront anyone because the other person could mock me using that word. There were many moments when I was reminded about the shape of my nose or simply about my defect by many people in a different way. But there were two of them that affected me, like the first encounter, by adding other negative assumptions. Once, my aunt came to our house. The day she arrived, she told me that she had seen a couple on a train with a flat nose. She would find a guy with a flat nose for me. My negative takeaway from this situation is I hated meeting new people, after that thinking they might remind me of my defect or laugh at me like she was laughing. After this incident, I avoided meeting new people. Gradually, I started walking by keeping my head down. The third incident which made the case worse was when I was in 9th grade. I was in my Sanskrit class. Our teacher hadn't come. My friends were cracking jokes and I am the kind of person who when starts laughing and don't stop easily. Suddenly, our teacher came. I was laughing at the last joke my friend cracked. Our teacher saw me and thought I was laughing at him as many students used to make fun of him. Then he sat and said that if Sita were a nakpichki(flat-nosed girl) then Ram would have never gone after her. Of course, the whole class was laughing, including my friends. But I was shocked. You can understand the feeling when you don't do anything and someone still retaliates. My negative takeaway from this incident was that I started feeling worthless. The statement made by my teacher made me feel good for nothing.

 I am not blaming anyone here. I just explained the incidents as they were. Every negative takeaway with lots of negative self-talk made me a person who was not able to interact freely with people, had low self-esteem,  feared meeting new people, avoided eye contact, always felt ugly, was conscious about how I looked, avoided going to stage, was fearful of hearing chapati(flat) word, always wanted to do nose job so that no can mock me or make me feel defected. I was like this till the second year of my graduation. Many of us do go through something like this in our lives, but some of us let ourselves be affected by others' perspectives, like me, and some of us never let others' opinions define us.

 Now, I don't want to do a nose job. I don't think about appearances all the time. I accepted myself and my appearance. Let me tell you, it is not a one-day job. To get out of insecurity which has affected your personality brutally takes effort. Believe me, if I can, anyone can. In the next post, I will share how I started processing it. Before that, I want you to write about your insecurities and also why you have them when they started, which incident affected you negatively and how can you get out of them organically. 

Insecurity and mental blocks

Mental blocks or insecurities are our limiting beliefs about ourself or something outside  like ourinsecurity  about our looks, shape of our body  not knowing english that never let us grow. We spend our whole life by running away from these insecurities or mental blocks. The reasons which are responsible  for these insecurities are toxic environment around us, lack of self belief, unawareness, ignorance and many more . When we are surrounded by insecurities we think eveything is against us . We blame God or some times our parents. But the fact it blaming never helps us. What helps us is the responsibility to change .

If we dont tackle these mental blocks or insecurities, they will never let us grow. When we are insecure about something we focus all are energy in finding ways to avoid every situation which can trigger those insecurities. Our whole life start moving  around those insecurities  which never let us think about any productive work because we are too busy in avoiding something. These insecurities ruin our personality . Gradually,  we start degrading in every area of our life because these insecurities affect our feelings. And if you dont feel good, you will never find peace anywhere.

So, important to tackle these insecurities and its not hard . Its easy to tackle them and process them but we choose to run away because we think thats the only way. But if you process them by working on them  we will be free and most importantly we will feel better. Every person goes through some kind of insecurities in their life. Some people let them get affected by those insecurities and some get out of it by processing it without letting it affect them. 

Dont let any mental block or insecurity define your life. Here, i will talk about insecurities and mental blocks and give you a roadmap to get out of it. I am not an expert . Whatever i will share will be my own experience.  I will only talk about those insecurities and mental blocks  which have been tackled by me and now i dont get affected by them.